


She-Wolves, Shenanigans and Shy Werewolf Cubs

by Counte_Kale_the_SoftVampireBoi (Counte_Kale_Winters_SoftVampireBoi7)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Parent Lyall Lupin, But I Swear It Gets Happier!, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gay Remus Lupin, Gay Sirius Black, It starts sad, M/M, Multi, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Remus Lupin Gets A Good Childhood With NICE Parents, Remus Lupin Gets Raised Properly, Remus Lupin Likes Chocolate, Remus Lupin Loves Sirius Black, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Remus Lupin is a Good Boyfriend, Romantic Soulmates, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black Loves Remus Lupin, Sirius Black is a Good Boyfriend, Sirius Black is a Good Friend, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, The Mauraders Are Thick As Thieves, The Mauraders Being Best Mates, They Don't Get Together Straight Away, Young James Potter, Young Peter Pettigrew, Young Remus Lupin, Young Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:28:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27391225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Counte_Kale_Winters_SoftVampireBoi7/pseuds/Counte_Kale_the_SoftVampireBoi
Summary: When Remus Lupin is visited by a friend of his mother's and she finds out that his newly widowed father isn't exactly a kind man, the young werewolf is taken in by the kindly aunt-like woman called Fern and her husband, Oliver. The young werewolf grows up happy and strong, with a fierce love for the night sky and constellations. On the train to Hogwarts when he meets the first person he ever saw with silver eyes like stars, he finds himself a little starstruck. But will his charming new friend feel the same? For the next seven years, that's the question Remus asks himself. Slowburn, eventual Wolfstar.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Original Character X Original Chracter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a new story that I decided to write when I noticed that I had an OC who could potentially be a guardian for darling Remus. Such a dear boy but he needs love. And so, I created a guardian for the young wolf and his boyfriend ;) Hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but Fern, Olly, and the plot.**

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Remus was tired of the lies. He was tired of hiding who he was, but feared he had no choice. He knew that he wouldn't ever be properly accepted at his dream school, Hogwarts, which he had known of from his mother before her untimely passing when he turned six years old.

He felt bitter for the dreams of friendship and playfulness he would have had with his fellow wizards and witches. However, he knew that he could never tell any friends he did happen to make about his home life. His father, Lyall Lupin, was a dangerous man who had fallen into despair after his wife was killed by a werewolf and his son turned into one. He couldn't handle the truth and abused his son, hitting, shoving and taunting the innocent young werewolf whenever he was at home. He needed someone to talk to, an adult who could remove him from his horrendous homelife and make the cub feel safe again. He had been a werewolf since the tender age of six years old and had hated his existence afterwards. Which was a shame, as he had been such a happy little boy before being transformed into a werewolf. His father, Lyall had soon changed that. He was allocated less and less playtime and given more and more chores to do around the house. The bedtime routine for the young wolf consisted of being locked in his room until morning with a bar of pure silver at the door to stop him from exiting. That was, until an old friend of his mother’s decided to pay them a visit from her seaside home in Wales.

Fern Crawford was a werewolf who had been an old friend of Remus’ mother and father. She knew the young werewolf’s father from Hogwarts. She hadn’t really known him well, as she had been a Hufflepuff and he had been a Gryffindor, so they didn’t know each other much. She knew Hope from the knitting classes that they both attended on Saturdays, having become close friends who didn’t live that far away from each other. Fern lived in Beaumaris, a seaside village in Wales, with her bonded mate and husband, Oliver. She would have had many children if she had been able to bear them but sadly, due to a curse placed on her by a jealous fellow she-wolf, she had rendered infertile and unable to bear children. She had been waiting to visit Lyall and his son since Hope’s untimely death by Fenrir Greyback’s hand but had been grieving the loss of her dear friend. Until now, the Spring of 1966, when she decided to visit the husband of her old friend and their son. She travelled to their rundown semi-derelict cottage in Yorkshire to find it looking worse for wear. She wasn’t the fondest of Lyall – she never had been but had visited her friend in her living days in Yorkshire and when she lived nearer, in Cardiff. She and her husband had travelled up to Yorkshire to visit Lyall and Remus for a short trip, to see how they were coping after the untimely death of Hope. Fern knocked lightly on the door, hoping to see the face of her older friend’s husband. Lyall opened the door and hesitantly greeted them, “Oh, it’s _you_. Come in then, I suppose.” She smiled softly, “Hello Lyall. I apologise for not coming sooner. I’m sorry for your loss.” She gave him a small bouquet of white roses and irises to say ‘sorry for your loss’ in a gentle way. He accepted the flowers and nodded to Oliver, “Nice to meet you. I assume you’re the husband?” Oliver smiled jovially, “Indeed, I am. Sorry for your loss.” Lyall nodded, silently agreeing with him. Fern asked gently, “Where is Remus, Lyall? I would like to meet my godson properly, if you wouldn’t mind, please. I haven’t seen the little darling since his christening.” Lyall flinched, knowing that Remus was Fern’s godson which meant that she had a right to see him. He told her, “He’s upstairs. He’s a quiet boy. Doesn’t say much.”

Fern nodded understandingly, “Poor thing, losing his mother at such a young age. It’s a pity, really. I’ll just quickly pop up and see if the _un bach_ is alright.” She quietly went upstairs to search for the little boy who had lost his mother. Lyall asked, “What did she call just my son?” Oliver smiled gently at his wife’s knack for slipping into Welsh now and then, “She was born and reared in Wales and has a habit of slipping odd words of the language into day-to-day conversation. I think she called your son ‘little one’.” Lyall gritted his teeth at the gentle presence that would see his son. “Oh. Alright then.” Oliver asked him, “Your son is six, isn’t he?” He wondered, “Yes? Why do you ask?” Oliver blinked and told him with uncertainty, “I’m not sure how to say this, but I suffer from lycanthropy. I sense another of my kind in this house. I was curious if it were you or your son?” Lyall grew defensive, “You’re a werewolf! Does your wife know? It’s my son. He was attacked by a werewolf earlier this year. He’s become a monster.” Lyall added bitterly. Oliver seemed startled and wondered how his wife was faring upstairs with the little one. “Not all of us are monsters, Lyall. Some of us are good.” Oliver argued strongly. Lyall scoffed, “Tell that to the monster that attacked my son in his bed earlier this year.”

Upstairs, Fern had located the small room of a little boy who was shaking while reading a battered copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. She could sense it straight away, being a werewolf herself. She gently knocked on the door and asked, “Hello? Remus, my name is Fern. I was a friend of your mother’s and I just popped in for a quick visit.” Her gentle tone drew the young werewolf out. He opened the door and shyly replied, “Hi. I’m Remus.” She smiled at the sweet but shy boy, “Hello Remus. It’s nice to meet you, properly. I was at your christening. I’m your godmother.” Remus, being a curious lad, asked, “What’s a godmother?” She explained gently, “When someone’s mother passes away, a godmother looks after them for their mother.” Remus shyly smiled at the kindly woman, “A-Are you going to… going to take care of _me_?” She smiled, beckoning him close, he came closer. She hugged the little boy close, “I’ll do my best, little one.” Remus, not used to the affection, hugged her close, enjoying the warmth of the hug. Fern grew sad, sensing the lack of affection in the boy’s life. She asked him, “Are you alone up here often, _un bach_?” Remus replied, “I like reading. It helps pass time. What does that mean?” She smiled softly, “You’ll have to forgive me, Remus. I’m from a place called Wales and I tend to slip in and out of my native tongue. The term I just called you, _un bach_ , means ‘little one’.” Remus blushed at her affectionate words, “That’s nice of you. Were you and Mum close?” She smiled sadly, “I wish we’d been closer. We knew each other through the knitting classes we went to on Saturdays, but your dad and I went to school together.” He slightly flinched at the mention of his father which was a curious sign for Fern, “You went to Hogwarts too? I’ve wanted so badly to go there. Dad says I can’t now. Ever since the bad man made me into a monster.” He began shaking and grew pale, frightened looking. Fern hugged him close, “Poor _gariad_. You’ve been through so much at such a young age… And your father is no help! Goodness, making you think you’re a monster when you’re no more than a cub. That’s all you are, dearie. A little cub.” Fern gently crooned to the now crying young werewolf. He shook his head and replied, “B-But… But Dad s-says that I-I’m… I’m a m-monster…”

Fern rocked him gently in her arms, “You’re not, _un bach_. You’re a scared, sweet, shy little wolf cub who’s just lost his mother.” She stroked his hair gently, looking into his hazel-green eyes full of innocence, “You go back to your book, _fy nghiwb_. I’ll be back up to you soon.” she told him with a smile, parting from the hug. He curiously asked, drying his tears, “What does that one mean?” She shook her head, “Silly me. It means ‘my cub’. I’ll see you soon, sweet boy.” She patted his head and went downstairs, silently thundering at the treatment her godson had been living in. She had noticed the malnourished grooves of his young body, the bareness of his room and the bruises that couldn’t have come from his wolfish side. She marched into the kitchen, guns blaring, as she exclaimed to Lyall in a tone of surprised alarm, “Lyall, for heaven’s sake! What would Hope say, if she were alive? She would be ashamed of what you’ve done to that boy. He’s such a sweet cub.” Lyall’s hand shook with anger, “Don’t presume to tell me what to do with that _monster_ upstairs. Your husband has just informed me of your _conditions_. Take him, and the devil be gone with the lot of you!” She was surprised by the violent reaction of Lyall, an old Gryffindor. She replied sternly, “Very well. Expect papers from the Ministry to sign for legal guardianship of your son.” He replied, “I’ll gladly sign them. That monster upstairs is no longer my son.”

Fern gasped, “How can you say that about that sweet intelligent boy upstairs?” He scoffed, “That monster upstairs is no sweeter than the monster that sired him. As for intelligent, I’ll give you that. He’s a crafty little bugger.” She gritted her teeth and gave Oliver a look as if to say, ‘take my hand to stop me from lashing out’. Oliver took his mate’s hand in his own sturdy hand, making sure that her temper didn’t get the best of her. Lyall questioned this, “What’s with the hand-holding? Oh, Oliver and you must be mates.” She nodded sharply, “I’ll go and retrieve Remus. I’ll bring him to our home and nurture him back to the health of what a six-year-old boy _should_ be.” She squeezed Oliver’s hand and told him, “I won’t be long, _fy am byth_.” He kissed her hand quickly and told her, “Be quick, sweetheart.” She smiled, nodding sharply as she went upstairs to get Remus, ashamed and appalled at her friend’s treatment of the bright, sweet boy that was upstairs.

She went upstairs and knocked gently on Remus’ door. The shy werewolf boy asked in a trembling voice filled with worry, “He’s mad at me, isn’t he?” She hugged him close, “No, _fy mab_ , he’s mad at all three of us. I’m taking you back to my home in Wales. You’ll be safe there. My husband and I are going to take good care of you.” Fern spoke softly to him, gently stroking the Remus looked up at her with wide hazel-green eyes, “R-Really? You’re… you’re taking care of me?” She smiled and took his smaller hand in his, too small for a six-year-old boy, and squeezed it reassuringly, “Yes, cub. You’re going to come and live with my mate and me. We are werewolves too, _gariad_.” Remus smiled the most he had since his mother had been killed in that moment. He took his godmother’s hand and went downstairs. He met a kindly black haired man who introduced himself as Oliver, Fern’s mate. With that, the trio Apparated back to Wales, safe and sound at last.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I warn you that there are mentions of past abuse in this chapter, read with care. I would hate to trigger anyone. Next chapter after this is his letter and first year, yay!**

**Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter, just Fern and Oliver.**

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Remus was brought back to the cosy little seaside cottage in Beaumaris, Cardiff with two adults who would take care of him. He had only been living here three days so far and he had been curious to explore every nook and cranny of the house and garden.

Fern called him in from the garden for a before dinner bath. He was nervous as this would be the first time the kindly woman would see just how extensively his father had hurt him. Fern softly asked, “Remus, _fy mab_ , do you need help?” Remus gulped and shyly nodded, not entirely sure how to take a bath by himself. “I’ll wait behind the curtain until you’re undressed, little one.” Remus shook his head, “Can you help please? I um… I need to show you where I’m hurt.” Fern nodded slowly and sympathetically, “Alright, little one.” Remus bit his lip and removed the clothes from his malnourished small body. There were marred scars, bruises, scorch marks and thin twisted red scars. Fern stroked his cheek gently, “Tell me what happened, _gariad_. I can’t treat them if I don’t know what I’m healing.” Remus silently pointed to one of the red scars, “A pure silver pen.” He pointed to the bruises, “his hands.” He bit his lip, pointing to the marred scars, “M-Me on f-full mo-moons…” He pointed to the scorch marks, “A pure silver coin.” Fern hugged the small boy close to her in a protective stance, “You are safe now, my little one.” Remus snuggled her close, feeling safe in the reddish blonde woman’s embrace. She whispered soft words to him in Welsh and English before she ran a nice warm bubble bath for the six year old werewolf. He playfully popped the bubbles in the water, enjoying the calming and healing smells of jasmine, lavender and ginger. Fern carefully took her time washing and conditioning his sandy blond hair, marvelling in how much he would pass as her own son. She had a warm fluffy blue towel waiting for him when he came out of the bath. She gently dried him and combed his hair. An hour before bedtime, she gave him a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows.

Remus felt like he was finally home since his mother had been killed. Fern and Oliver tucked him into bed and softly said their goodnights, “Goodnight cub, sleep well. We’ll leave the night light on, okay? Come get us if you need us, Rem.” Oliver spoke softly in his strong rumbling voice, turning the star shaped night light on. Fern spoke softly, “Goodnight, my cub. Sweet dreams, little one. As you know, we’re just down the hall if you need us.” Remus yawned a bit before softly speaking, “’Night Fern, ‘Night Oliver.” They smiled softly at him and watched him snuggled up under the patchwork duvet and drift off to sleep. Fern smiled and turned off the main light.

She took Oliver’s hand in hers and walked to the kitchen, where there were papers for them to sign from the Ministry of Magic. Oliver asked softly, “Sweet one, what are these? Are they from your lot?” She nodded, “Adoption papers for the cub, Olly.” Oliver smiled warmly, “Where do I sign? I haven’t seen you this happy since the day I placed my mark on you as my mate.” She softly spoke in a happy voice, “We finally have a cub, Ols. Finally. A little one, all of our own. How I’ve dreamed of this.” Oliver kissed her forehead, signing the papers with her happily and watching her send them back off with the owl they had arrived with earlier. He made them a cup of tea and grabbed his sudoku book. There was a blazing fire in the hearth, and they sat down beside it with cups of tea. Fern doing her knitting while Oliver solved sudokus. Morning came with an official owl that gave them a certificate that announced they were now the legal and binding guardians of Remus John Lupin, who was still sound asleep in his warm cosy room. His favourite colour was silvery grey and blue, so the room had been magically decorated to showcase such. There was even glow in the dark stars, because Remus loved the different constellations, and a glow in the dark moon, charmed to keep track of the actual lunar cycle. This Friday would be their first full moon together as a family and Remus was worried. He knew Fern was too gentle to tie him up or lock him away, so he wondered what they did. In the kitchen, Oliver was making breakfast of bacon, herby scrambled eggs and English breakfast muffins. Fern was making the tea and watering the plants. They had a schedule you see. Oliver would make breakfast; they would make lunch together and Fern would make dinner. They had been doing this for years.

Fern kissed his cheek, “I’ll go and wake the cub, _fy am byth_.” He kissed her lips quickly, “Of course, dearest. Tell him breakfast will soon be ready, love.” She smiled, “I will, _fy gariad_.” Fern went to go and wake Remus, who had slept very well, in the cosy room. He sleepily smiled, waking up with a yawn, “Morning tree-lady.” Fern chuckled softly at his fond nickname for her, “Good morning, cub. Breakfast is waiting downstairs. We’ll begin lessons today while Oliver’s gone to work.” Remus got up and began gathering clothes for that day, “What does Olly work as?” Fern smiled, “He’s a librarian in a Muggle school.” Remus’ eyes lit up, shot with amber, “A librarian? That’s so cool!” Fern smiled warmly, “Come downstairs in your pyjamas, little one. You can shower and dress afterwards.” They spend the rest of the day and the weeks following that, teaching Remus about history, astronomy, English, Welsh and wizarding customs. The weeks turned swiftly into months and the months shed into years.

Before they knew it, it was time for Remus’ eleventh birthday, which meant his Hogwarts letter would be arriving soon. They didn’t know it then, but the future of the blossoming little werewolf who was now a healthy weigh and height for his age, was being determined as they spoke by fate.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This is Remus' first year at Hogwarts book this chapter will just be the Hogwarts Express. Just a warning in advance to any of you who don't like Wolfstar, this will eventually be Wolfstar. This is my first try at a proper slow burn story :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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The time would come for the autumn of 1971 and Remus Lupin's first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Fern was excited for her adoptive son made sure that you had all these things packed before boarding the train at exactly eleven o'clock. Fern and Oliver saw him to the train and waved him off as he started his journey.

He was sitting alone in an empty compartment, just about to start reading one of the books that Oliver had given him from the Muggle primary school that he worked in. That was until a rather messy heard bespectacled boy all but barged into the compartment accompanied by a dark haired boy with silver eyes. Remus had never met anyone who had silver eyes before. He was a little wary, considering his aversion to the metal. He shyly introduced himself, almost hiding behind the cover of the Muggle book, "H-hi. I'm Remus, nice to meet you." The messy haired boy with glasses smiled, "James Potter. And this is my new best friend Sirius Black." The boy named Sirius grinned at him, "Hi there." He shyly waved which made Sirius smile. "Can we sit in here? There's one more of us to come along but as usual, Pete 's always late." He asked. "Of course. I don't really know anyone else here and I'd be glad for a few friends." James grinned at this and replied, "Well, you've got three now." Remus smiled softly and returned to his book on astronomy. He'd read it several times, but it was one of his favourites.

Sirius noticed the book about stars and couldn't help the small grin that appeared on the corner of his mouth, "Do you like stars then, Remus?" The sandy blond haired boy nodded with a smile, "For as long as I can remember. You're named after the dog star, right?" He nodded slowly, "Yeah. I'm from a bunch of Pureblood tosser and they mainly name us after either stars or flowers." James fondly tease his friend, "Guess you weren't pretty enough to be named for a flower then, Sirius." Sirius placed to hand on his shoulder in a mocked expression of hurt, "You wound me, Potter." Remus on the other hand, was blushing behind his book and thinking, ' _Oh, I don't know about that... I for one think you're stunning…_ '. He didn't say this, of course and just kept his nose in his astronomy book. He turned the pages, but he wasn't really paying attention to the information on the night sky. How could he? Especially when those beautiful grey eyes were boring into his amber eyes. Since the last full moon, his eyes had mainly been amber, and Oliver had informed him that they would not change from this unlikely remain the colour for the rest of his days. Oliver of course hadn’t told the young werewolf that amber eyes were significant sign of a future Alpha.

Eventually, the train came to a stop just outside Hogsmeade Station for the rest of the students. The first years boarded the boat with the help from the half giant. Remus was awe of the beauty of the castle. He'd read about it countless times but seeing it for himself is an entirely different matter. He watched the Sorting ceremony took place and waited for his own name to be called. When he had received his Hogwarts letter, he was relieved to find out that the Ministry no longer referred to him as a Lupin but as Crawford, to his relief. His name was called, and he was sorted into Gryffindor house along with his new friends. He was relieved to find that at the next full moon was in three weeks which was thankfully, still quite a good while away. The pendant that Fern had given him to track the lunar cycle’s calendar was firmly placed around his neck on its copper chain. He was sat down next to his new friends, talking amicably, laughing, and eating. He couldn't believe that he was finally at Hogwarts. When the Gryffindor prefect and head of house, Minerva McGonagall, had introduced themselves and led them to the Gryffindor common room, it was almost time for curfew. He had noticed that his three new friends, his roommates for the next seven years, were quite the troublemakers. He found that he didn't mind this much, fully intending to help them cause mischief but also gain a proper education at the magical school like he had been dreaming of since the Crawfords took him from his father's home. The next morning breakfast before classes, Fern had sent him the small package that contained some chocolate cookies and a scarf. He wrote back to her almost instantly telling her excitedly how he'd already made three friends and had been sorted into Gryffindor house.

Their first lesson together as a quartet had been Defence Against the Dark Arts, which he discovered he was immensely fond of. The other classes that they had that they were Potions, herbology and History of Magic. He seemed to like History of Magic, but he didn't care much for the ghostly professor who taught the class. While Professor Binns droned on about the goblin Wars of 1836, Remus took out his sketch pad and charcoal pencils and began doing one of his favourite hobbies, sketching. He took a few notes but since the ghostly professor seem to be saying the same thing in a multitude of different ways, you gave up on just continued sketching for quite some time. He found himself sketching Sirius, of all people. He hoped that the silver eyed boy would never catch him sketching. Midway through the first week of first year, they planned their first prank together in the Gryffindor common room.

The quartet of Gryffindor boys were unaware of the friendship they had forged would bind them together for the next seven years as well as the remainder of their lives. Nor did they know what friendship the possibility would have to turn into between a certain wolf and star.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here's the latest chapter of this work. I hope that you enjoy it :) Chapters will get longer as the plot thickens; I promise.**

**Disclaimer: I do not won Harry Potter.**

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Remus was worried and scared of the approaching full moon, like he always was and would be, until his later years. Dumbledore had allowed him express permission to use the Floo network in his office to go home for the full moon, as he parents had dealt with it before and knew what to do during those hours where all three of them weren't human. It was pouring it down with rain in Wales, thankfully Remus managed to get into their fireplace without any problems.

Fern helped him out of the fireplace with a hug afterwards, greeting him happily, "Hello Remus, dear. Did you settle in alright?" Remus nodded and shyly told her, "Hi tree-lady. I… I have something to tell you." Fern smiled softly, "I should think you have a great deal to tell us, cub. Come on, we have two hours until moonrise. Oliver's making some hot chocolate in the kitchen. We can talk." Remus nodded and followed her quietly. Once at the table with hot chocolate in hand, he took and sip and told them, "I have reason to believe that I'm attracted to males." Fern smiled warmly and stroked his hair, "Tell us about him, Rem." Remus smiled softly and nodded, beginning to tell them both everything about his four new dormmates, including Sirius. He explained how he had made fast friends with the other three boys, which Fern and Oliver were delighted about. Oliver put a hand on his shoulder and told him, "It's time we get to the shed, lad. I think this young man of yours could possibly be your mate. I'll explain more of that in the morning or when we change if you so wish." The small pack of three could communicate telepathically, but it wasn't proper English like they would normally speak, in fact, it was mostly Welsh – Remus having picked up a love for the language and learned it form his adoptive mother and Oliver having learned it early in he and Fern's relationship. He explained exactly how he and Sirius met and what he looked like, down to his long, elegant fingers. Oliver had yipped happily and had informed him that it was highly likely that his long haired friend was his mate. Werewolves mate for life, you see. When Oliver had found that Fern was his mate; he had been ready to live life with the knowledge that his mate couldn't be found, as no one he had met had made his mating mark, in the shape of a fern tree, light up in a silvery sheen, at least not until he met and started dating Fern. Remus was delighted at this news but was perplexed at the concept of having a predestined soul mate, so to speak. He made the point that he didn't have a mate mark, to his knowledge. Fern had told him that she would check him over when they transformed back in the morning. As usual, they playfully fought with each other and slept in a huge, disorganised pile of fur, paws, and snores. When they awoke in the morning to Fern's alarm, she saw to her husband first, making sure that he was clothed and his injuries seen to, before going to her son and checking him for injuries.

She smiled warmly to herself when she spotted the outline of a black wolfhound running towards the moon on his left ankle. Remus groggily woke and whined a little, wanting to stay warm and asleep. She chuckled and nuzzled him gently, "It's time for breakfast, _fy mab_." Remus nodded and asked her, "Did you find my mate mark?" She smiled warmly and showed him the pattern on his ankle. He blushed darkly and told her, "Sirius' name is the dog constellation, well apart from canis major and minor, but you understand what I mean, right, Ferny?" She patted his cheek gently, "Indeed I do, young one. This charming friend of yours is likely your mate. I hope the best for you two, really I do, cub." Remus smiled gratefully at her, stiff and exhausted from his bones reorganising themselves. Oliver came back with a simple breakfast so he wouldn't exert himself, also exhausted from the transformation they had been through together. He softly told Remus, "We need to get you back to Hogwarts soon, Rem. The headmaster's rules were clear that you could stay here until noon, avoiding your classes until then. When you get back to Hogwarts, he'll give you a letter to show your professors, also sending them copies of it beforehand. You have time for an hour's nap if you'd like? I'll have Moonrise waiting for you when you wake, cub." He affectionately ruffled his hair. Remus smiled at his adoptive father and nodded, "Thank you." he quietly lay down on the couch and curled up, sleeping for about thirty minutes before waking up to find his adoptive mother laying by his side but awake. She nuzzled him gently in return and softly spoke, "Could you sleep no more, _fy_ _mab_?"

He shook his head, "I'm awake now. I should probably be getting back..." he looked to his feet. Oliver handed him a tumbler of Moonrise potion, invented by a close friend of his from Hogwarts, who knew that what he and his son were, but was kind enough not to say anything to the public about it. Remus took it and shuddered at the unpleasant taste, smiling a bit when Oliver handed him a square or two of chocolate. He smiled, "Thank you." Oliver chuckled a bit and gently ruffled his hair, "No worries, Rem. Now, let's get you back, shall we?" He turned to his mate and asked, "Are you coming, my forever?" Fern smiled warmly at him, "Of course, fy cariad. Our son needs to go back to school." Fern nodded and took Remus' hand, taking Oliver's in her free hand while the older werewolf walked with them through the fireplace back to Dumbledore's office.

They hugged Remus before he walked out of the fireplace and greeted Dumbledore quietly, "Hello, sir." The headmaster smiled kindly at him and offered him a seat, "Please sit, dear boy. Lemon drop?" Remus sat down but shook his head, "No thank you." The headmaster nodded understandingly before telling him, handing him the parchment with a soft look, "This is what you show your teacher's. The day after the full moon, you will go to your dormitory and sleep. Your professors will allow you to catch up on work. If your dorm mates ask, you were home-schooled and the work is tedious on you, or you've come down with a cold. Do you understand?" Remus replied quietly, "Yes sir, I understand. Thank you." Dumbledore nodded before shaking his head fondly, "Go on then, off you go." Remus got up, slipping the parchment into his cardigan pocket, he'd picked it up before leaving his home, it was the thickest, warmest one that he owned. He walked back to his dorm and almost fell into his bed, closing the curtains before doing so and curling up on the bed to sleep. He was awoken from his peaceful slumber by the sounds of voices. "He wasn't at classes all day and I haven't seen him since breakfast. Do you think he's okay?" he heard, groggily realising that it was Sirius talking. A short laugh could be heard before James Potter replied in a fondly testing tone, "I'm sure he's fine, mate. Honestly, poor bugger will think that you fancy him or something." Sirius laughed nervously, trying his hardest to make it not seem nervous before nodding, "Right. So… should we wake him for dinner?" James nodded, "Would be cruel and not make sense to keep the poor git hungry, Sirius. D'you want to wake him while I lock my trunk?" Sirius playfully shoved him, "Don't want someone to find out that you've been writing in your journal about Evans, eh? Yeah, I'll go wake him." Sirius walked over to Remus' bed curtains, opening them, and slipping inside. He smiled softly upon seeing the shorter boy curled around himself and gently spoke, "Rem, it's almost time for dinner, we have to go." Remus opened one of his amber eyes and smiled almost instantly at seeing who was sitting beside him on his bed. He yawned and stretched, thickening his voice, "I'm sick, so maybe, keep your distance? I don't know if it's contagious and I don't want you getting sick."

Sirius chuckled, running a hand through his chin length hair, "You look it, Rem. Hope it's not too bad. C'mon, I can _hear_ the roast beef in the Great Hall calling me." Remus snickered and got up, pausing when he moved to put his robes back on, as he'd changed into his pyjamas. He was too tired to move and didn't bother to change, so he just said, "I can't go. I'm too tired and kind of scared I'll spread it." James moved a bit of the curtain, having heard everything that was said, "We'll bring you back something then, Remy. Can't have you going hungry just 'cos you’re sick. Come on, Sirius!" he walked to the door. Sirius took Remus' hand and squeezed it, whispering, "I'll bring you back something soft and chocolate." Remus smiled at him like he was the sun, "Thanks." Sirius winked playfully at him, causing Remus to blush, thankful that he was out of sight by now.

They came back soon with a bowl of beef stew, crusty bread and, as promised, a soft portion of chocolate mousse in a bowl. Remus took the food and ate it fast, his wolfish metabolism kicking in, causing the two of his closest dormmates to laugh at this, sitting on the bed with him. Peter was laying on his own bed, almost in a food coma and Frank was doing his homework. Remus finished the food, smiling when the dirty dishes vanished back to the kitchens. He threw an arm around his friends' shoulders and told them, "I feel better already." James laughed, throwing arm around Remus' shoulder, "Glad we could help, mate." Sirius nodded, throwing an arm around Remus' shoulder, the werewolf's blushing going unnoticed to his relief, "Think we should discuss our next prank?" Remus grinned, "Sounds like a plan. But first, did we have any homework?"


	5. Chapter 5: The End of the Beginning

Chapter 5: The End of the Beginning

**A/N: Here's the next chapter to this. I love writing the dialogue for these characters in general, but this is particularly fun! I adamantly refused to make any of the Mauraders homophobic, I’m sorry if that’s not right for the time but I’d like to believe they’d be supportive, so… indulge me?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, if I did, Tonks most likely would be gay so no one for Remus but his star lol.**

The quartet of closely knit friends and roommates could hardly believe that first year was almost behind them. Here they were in their last month or so of their first year. Remus for one, couldn't believe that it had gone so fast. He had thankfully, hidden his feelings for his starry-named friend but it was getting harder to do so. He had made a close friend of a kindly red haired girl in their house and year by the name of Lily Evans. He studied with her on occasion and tried not to get that involved when James told him that he loved her, knowing that James would pester him for information on the fiery witch. They were in the Great Hall for lunch at this very moment, Lily sitting as near to Remus but as far away from James as possibly, her eyes fixed on a certain surly-looking young Slytherin. James and Sirius walked into the Great Hall, moments later, Lily nudging Remus and smirking a bit knowingly at him, he didn’t have to tell her, she knew the moment she saw them interact – she’d said it was something to do with the way Remus blushed around him. “Shush. He might hear you if you say something.” Remus whispered to her, feigning to be lost in a book, he’d gotten rather good at doing that. She giggled softly, “I told you, Remus, your secret’s safe with me.” Remus smiled gratefully at her, actually reading the book this time, it was part of their assigned reading for Défense Against the Dark Arts that he had put off reading due to a prank that needed to be more planned out, the structure James had tried to go about was all wrong but was soon fixed with a little research on certain spells.

Sirius sat down in the seat across from him, noticing Remus nose deep in a book and greeted, “Is that the one you were putting off for the plan?” Remus looked up and nodded, “Indeed it is. …Did you, James and Peter finish your Charms homework?” James flushed darkly, “Um… no? But it’s not due until Friday so it’s fine, Rem.” Remus chuckled and closed the book, the food would be here soon after all before he looked James dead in his hazel eyes, “James, today is Thursday. You have a day to write two rolls of parchment on uses of the unlocking charm.” James cursed under his breath and glared at Sirius, “Don’t look so smug, you haven’t done it either.” Sirius’ grin fell and he realised with a curse. Halfway through dessert, Remus just having finished a large portion of chocolate lava cake, very full and happy. Sirius took that moment to look pleadingly at him, “Please Remus, I need your help. I have no idea how to go about doing the assignment.” Remus took a drink from a cup of pumpkin juice before replying, with a small sigh, “Fine. I’ll help, but I’m not doing it for you.” Sirius flashed him a grin, “Thanks, Rem. Knew I could count on you.” James was just about to open his mouth to ask for help as well when Remus beat him to it, “I’ll help you too, don’t worry. And Peter.” Remus was a loyal friend and although he frowned upon doing other people’s work for them, he didn’t mind much helping his friends with their assignment. The mail came soon afterwards, making Sirius groan, muttering under his breath, “Bloody insufferable woman.” Remus needn’t ask who he was referring to, it was common knowledge in their dormitory that Sirius scathingly loathed his parents but didn’t mind his little brother, Regulus. A Howler dropped onto Sirius’ plate, James grabbing it and shoving it into his robes pocket, telling Sirius in a quiet hissed tone, “In the dorm. Not here, everyone’ll go poking their nose in your business, nosy gits.” Sirius nodded understandingly, going a bit quiet. The Crawford’s owl dropped a letter and two parcels, looking rather heavy. He flushed at this, not wanting the others to make a fuss if they learned that it was his birthday tomorrow. He knew it would be worthless hiding it from them, so with a sigh, he opened the letter first with a soft smile creeping onto his face, his adoptive father’s humour always made him smile. The first parcel was from his adoptive mother, a small note reading; ‘ _I’m sorry that we can’t spend tomorrow with you. It’ll be your first birthday away from home. Wishing you a wonderful day, fy mab_.’ James spotted the words ‘your’ and ‘birthday’ with a grin and nudged Sirius, sneakily stealing the note to read while Remus opened the first package – a handmade jumper from his mother in his favourite shade of deep blue with grey stripes and stars embroidered into it with silver thread, a batch of brownies and a book on knitting for beginners from Fern. He opened the second package from Oliver and grinned, six books in total, all from the list of books he’d told his fellow werewolf he was looking for. James spoke, “Why didn’t you tell us?” Remus blushed darkly and blinked, speaking quietly, “I didn’t want you to make a big deal about it. Besides, it’s the ninth, my birthday is the tenth. Lily poked him in the ribs, “I won’t be able to get you anything nice! I mean, I could owl my parents but as you know, they’re…not like your parents.” Remus squeezed her shoulder gently, “I’ll take anything that my friends give me as a gift. Thought that counts and whatnot, Lily.” She nodded, smiling at him. She had a thought and smirked, “Well actually, I don’t need to. How about I help James and Peter with their assignments, and you can help Sirius?” He blushed darker, cursing himself for her knowing smile, “Thank you. That would be appreciated greatly.” James grinned at her, eyes twinkling, “So we’re going to study together after all, Evans?” She snorted, “If it weren’t for Remus, nope, not a chance, but he’s my second best friend so yeah, I guess.” Remus smiled fondly at her, but Sirius asked curiously, “Why not help all of us if you’re going to help him?” Lily smirked a bit, “And have me cope with both of you? I’d likely kill you both. Remus knows how to handle you.” Sirius let out a loud barking laugh at that, waving his hand, “Sure Evans, sure.”

Later, in their dorm, Remus was visited by an owl with the Potter crest on an emblem around its neck on a soft cord, he stroked the white feathers gently and gave it an owl treat before it flew off, it had come with a parcel addressed to ‘Remus Crawford’. He shook his head, knowing this was James’ doing but didn’t complain when he opened the parcel to find a thick plush dark blue dressing gown, a few shades darker than the jumper he’d received from his adoptive mother. It was no secret among the Mauraders that Remus and warm were an inseparable combination. Lycanthropy either left Remus prone to overheating or getting cold easily. He opened up the dressing gown happily and curiously looked when something large and sweet smelling fell out of the left pocket. It was one of the biggest bars of chocolate he’d ever seen. There was a note spellotaped to the wrapping; ‘ _I know that you’re obsessed, but you’ve likely never had this kind. Enjoy it, because I’m getting more for helping with my essay, Rem. – S._ ’ Remus smiled warmly, blushing darkly at the idea of Sirius sending him chocolate, despite the lack of romantic situation around it, but he wasn’t complaining. He put his gifts in his trunk, apart from the chocolate, already wearing his new jumper happily. He opened some and almost sighed at how decadent and strongly tasting of cocoa it was. He put it into his trunk in the compartment for foodstuffs. He heard the dormitory door open and spotted the long haired wizard, “Hey, Rem.” he greeted. “Thanks for the chocolate. It’s amazing. Let’s get started on the essay, shall we?” Remus suggested with a smile. Sirius nodded, getting his school supplies, Charms book and readied a quill, hopping onto Remus’ bed, putting the werewolf on high alert but hiding it masterfully. He sat down beside him and started going through his notes on the charm, leaning a bit too close to the grey eye wizard than he probably should have because it was a bad idea for him to be near that wonderful smoky, woodsy citrus a mell that was Sirius Black. He thankfully didn't seem to notice thus. Remus was thankful that he was oblivious, but it hurt his heart to be so near him as a friend. They were soon finished, Sirius grinned and hugged him close out of nowhere, causing Remus to inhale sharply and go beet red before hugging back closely. Sirius ended the hug sooner than Remus would have liked but didn't complain. He broke the silence with, "Go over the plan for the prank with me, will you?" Sirius tilted his head in slight confusion as he asked, "I thought James already did...?" The amber eyed wizard nodded, "Not in an understandable way." The talker wizard smirked a bit ace snickered, "Yeah, Evans was in the room, if you recall." Remus nodded, "That I do." he replied with a small chuckle. Sirius smirked at him, causing his heart rate to rise but he was able to hide it. " The smirk was followed by a question, "You _like_ someone! Don't you? I can see it in your eyes." Remus' stomach flipped and knotted, has hear beating fast as he stammered, trying to explain, " _Um_ , well... I - _ah_... Yeah, I do." Sirius grinned, delighted with himself as he exclaimed excitedly, his heart panging with the dull aching of pain of what he surmised to be unrequited love, "Oh, this is great! Wait until I tell James I was right." Remus blushed darker and hid hiss faze in his clammy hands, clammy due to internally panicking. The canine-named wizard looked concerned as he softly asked, "Why are you so worried? Whoever it is, you clearly didn't want us to know. Oh wait—oh shit! Please tell me it's not Evans. James'll murder us if it’s Evans.” Remus blushed darker and mumbled, “Not likely considering she’s a girl.” Sirius raised an eyebrow, “Sorry mate, didn’t quite catch that. Say again?” Remus looked up at him, into those startling silver eyes, “That would be something, because she’s female.” Sirius raised his eyebrow, “And…?” Remus blushed and looked down, fidgeting with his hands as he took a deep shuddering breath and told him, “I’m not attracted to females, at least I don’t think I am.” ‘ _because I’m in love with you and you’re clearly not female, now are you?_ he continued in his head. Sirius’ mouth went dry and his hands were shaking, “You’re… you’re gay?” Remus froze, he’d read novels where things phrased like that were never good. He gulped and nodded, replying shakily, “Y-yeah. Um, listen – I kind of didn’t know until this year and it wasn’t important so that’s why I didn’t tell you three or anyone else for that matter.” he spoke fast, sweating and his skittish, his eyes darting to the door, ready to make a run for it should that be necessary. That was before Sirius grabbed his hand in his, but he refused to look at him, not wanting to see hatred or malice in those beautiful starry eyes. Sirius gently put a finger underneath his chin, making him look up at him, “S’alright, Rem. Really. Though, you might want to tell James in case he tries to kill you, since you are quite close with Evans.” Remus smiled gratefully at him, quietly replying, “Yeah, I will. Um, I’ll have to tell the rest of our roommates, won’t I?” Sirius shook his head, “Nah, just tell the three of us and it’ll be fine.” Remus grinned, not caring if it made his heart fly into his mouth, he threw an arm around Sirius’ shoulders, “Of course, I will.” At that moment, James walked into the room and raised an eyebrow but ran over to Remus’ bed and plopped down on it, “What’s all this, then?” he asked with a crooked grin. Remus slowly moved his arm from Sirius’ neck, just about hearing the small whine that he didn’t think Sirius noticed, but it made him curious, but he didn’t mention it. He looked at James, “I figured it was time I told you guys something. Where’s Peter?” Peter came in shortly, walking over and sitting down by the bed, since it was full, “M’here.” Remus fondly teased his shorter friend, “As much like a teacher James thinks I am, don’t deny it James, I heard you the other day – it’s fine, but this isn’t class.” Sirius snorted, making James snicker but he nudged Remus gently, “Go on then, Remus. What’s so important that you tell us?” Remus looked at all three of them seriously, “Sirius found out that I like someone, don’t ask because I won’t tell you. But he panicked for your sake, James because he thought it was Lily. Don’t worry, Lily is a lovely girl, but she couldn’t interest me if she tried. I’m gay, you see.” James sighed a sigh of relief, “Thank Merlin. You two being so close in the library the other day scared me bloody badly, Rem. Well, I’m glad to be shot of that worry.” Peter nodded, “So… you like a boy?” Sirius laughed the loud barked laugh that made Remus’ heart swell, “That’s kind of his point, Pete.” Peter flushed and simply said, “ _Oh_. Right.” Remus simply smiled; he really did have amazing friends.

After celebrating James’ birthday on the twenty-seventh of that month in a similar manner, time seemed to fly to the end of year exams. Soon, it was the end of term, the first day of the summer month of July, and they were on the Hogwarts Express back to their homes. Sirius was sitting beside James, playing a game of Exploding Snap while Remus was quietly knitting a scarf in a curious shade of deep grey. He’d learned how to knit fast, just in time to have made a scarf – in beaconing Gryffindor colours to his delight for James’ birthday, the day after his own that year, James had announced that his was next and that Sirius’ was on November 3rd and Peter’s on September 9th. Remus was simply preparing for then with the dark grey scarf. Peter was trying to catch up on some work that he didn’t want to get behind on, quietly asking Remus for advice when he needed to. The trolley came with food, James getting some Droobles gum, a liquorice wand and a chocolate frog, Sirius getting two chocolate frogs and a pack of Bertie Botts’ Every Flavour Beans, Remus was content to eat some of the baked goods his adoptive mother had sent him a few days before the end of term, blueberry muffins, sharing them with the other three, of course. Sirius offered them Every Flavour Beans, to which Remus replied, “No thank you, I was unlucky the first time I tried one of those.” James took one and shuddered as he hissed out, “Earwax.” Peter took some too, but didn’t complain, food was food after all. The several hour long train ride back to King’s Cross Station was spend in different ways. After finishing the scarf, Remus thought about reading one of the many books, but then decided that he could do that over the summer, he could spend the time with his friends now. James and Sirius had stopped playing Exploding Snap and were now in a very tense game of Wizard’s chess, which made the werewolf grin, his adoptive father had taught him how to play chess – both Muggle and Wizarding versions since he was about nine, having read up on how to play first. He asked James, “Can I play? If you two are finished arguing over who’s winning?” James kicked him in the shin, “Shut it. I’m winning but yeah, sure.” Sirius smirked, “Sure you are, James, sure you are.” James won the round, flashing a shit-eating grin at Sirius who was grumbling a little, but wasn’t too bothered. He began trading Chocolate Frog cards with Peter so that Remus could play chess with James. Remus smiled sweetly at James, “Ready?” James gulped at the smile, “Don’t do that, please. You look bloody dangerous.” Remus chuckled, “Be afraid, James, be very afraid.” This comment made Sirius snicker, but he hid it with a cough when James glared at him. It took a while, but soon the messy-haired Gryffindor realised that his friend was amazing at playing Wizard’s chess, but that as a little while before Remus softly spoke, “Knight to f3.” James blinked; Remus had his pawn. He stared, not believing his eyes, as the werewolf smiled and said, “Checkmate.” Sirius let out a low whistle at this, James was good at chess, they’d realised this in their first week of first year. James sighed as he asked, “Is it worth asking you for a rematch, Remus or will you be merciful next time?” The amber eyed wizard chuckled, “I have no mercy.” he playfully replied, knowing full well the three of them regarded him as one of the most soft-hearted people they’d ever met. Sirius snorted, “Yeah, and I’m a butterfly.” Remus laughed at that; it was the kind of surprisingly funny thing the silver-eyed wizard usually came out with. The several hour long train ride ended soon, and goodbyes were said until either the summer or next year. Remus asked the three of them, “Will you come and visit me or write to me?” James grinned, “I don’t know about writing, but I’m having you lot at my house for a few weeks of the summer.” Remus smiled warmly but noticed a sadness had appeared in Sirius’ eyes as he quietly said, “I’ll write to you, but I can’t promise visits. My parents…my parents are very strict.” Remus felt a chill go down his spine at those words, the sound of Sirius’ parents giving him the same spine-chilling feeling as his biological father Lyall’s name. He gently put a hand on Sirius’ shoulder, “Of course. I’ll send you something, something that’ll cheer you up.” Sirius froze at the ‘cheer you up’, but shook himself internally, his tawny haired friend could know nothing. He simply looked at Remus questioningly but said nothing. Remus nodded understandingly, James talking to Peter about his summer excitedly.

Sirius seemed to notice that Remus understood and found that he didn’t shrug away from the werewolf’s hand on his shoulder. Remus simply offered him a kindly smile and spoke softly, “Want to walk off the train with me?” he regretted the words the moment they left his lips, scared his sounded odd. Sirius simply nodded, knowing that he wasn’t exactly in for a nice summer, due to his family. He cleared his dry throat, it had become dry at Remus’ words, and replied softly, “Thanks Rem. I’d like that.” James waved at them and yelled, “See you over the summer, mates!” Peter waved goodbye with a quick, “See you soon, guys!” Sirius nodded and put a grin on his face, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, “See you over the summer, Pete!” When the other two were gone and amber eyes met silver, Sirius didn’t hide his emotions, although he knew he’d have to once he got off the train. He grabbed Remus’ hand and squeezed it tightly, “Means a lot.” Remus felt his heart speed up, but he knew it was just about staying to support him. He nodded and squeezed his hand back; an understanding look in his eyes. He let go of his hand with a pang in his chest, not wanting to let go but knowing it was the practical thing to do. He got his bookbag secured on his shoulder, hoisting it there before looking at Sirius and softly speaking, “Try to have a decent summer?” Sirius nodded, “Yeah, I’ll try. Thanks. You have a great summer, Rem.” he replied. They walked off of the train. Sirius walked over to Walburga Black who was looking most displeased and sour, hissing something hateful to him before Apparating away with him. Remus had seen and sighted before spotting Fern, since Oliver was working today, waiting not too far away from him. Not long before ethe summer exams, he’d accidentally in a panicked state of not thinking he’d pass – which he did – he had called her ‘mum’ and it had stuck. Oh, he’d been a sobbing mess writing that letter. He greeted her with it apprehensively, “Hi… mum.” She smiled softly at him, putting a hand on his shoulder, “You don’t have to call me that if it makes you feel uncomfortable, Remus. You know that _fy mab_. Come on, lets get you and your things to the car, hm?” He smiled gratefully at her but decided that she had done so much for him, that it was the least he could do for her and Oliver, “No. We’ve been a family…a pack for so long and I held off of saying it because I was scared. I’m not scared anymore…mum.” She smiled softly in understanding, nodding, and taking his hand, walking to the car with him, putting his trunk in the boot, which had been pre-modified by Oliver earlier that day. They drove quietly for a moment or two, talking now and then, knowing that they had a four hour long drive ahead of them. She quietly asked, “The one you think is your mate, was he the long haired boy that was being whispered to by who I think was his mother?” Remus blushed but nodded, “That’s him. His name is Sirius Black.” he quietly replied. Fern smiled softly, “He’s very handsome.” she replied kindly, happy that her cub had found someone to love. The younger werewolf blushed, “He um… he knows. That I like boys, I mean. He doesn’t know that I…that I—like him in specific, mum.” he was more at ease using that name for her now. She smiled warmly, “Well I’m glad that he at least knows that _un bach_. Why don’t you tell him, cub? I’m sure he wouldn’t be that against it.” A look of sheer panic flitted across Remus’ face as he stammered out, “I… I c-can’t tell him the-that! He’d… he’d… Oh, I don’t know, and I’m scared.” She squeezed his knee gently, “It’s okay, _fy nghiwb_ , it’s okay. …Why don’t we talk about this later, with Oliver?”

Remus shyly told her softly, his eyes burning with a prickling sensation of fear, “With dad.” She looked a little shocked but smiled warmly, “You don’t have to call him that if you don’t wish to, little one.” Remus smiled a bit, nodding, “I do, though. That’s what he and you are. My parents. Maybe not biologically, but my birth mother couldn’t have picked better people to take care of me if she tried.” Fern smiled warmly at him, “Your father will be very glad about this, as am I. Now, be a dear, Remus and do tell me about the books you’ve read. You know how I love to hear them.” He smiled warmly, hoping she would never find out that he was just as much a Maurader as his three best friends. He smiled sweetly at her and told hr about each and every single book he had read that year, trying to remember as much detail as possible for her. By the time they got home, Oliver was there and had started cooking dinner, knowing Fern would be too tired from the car ride for their usual joint effort to even think about cooking. He got Remus’ trunk out of the back of the car and greeted him, “Hello cub.” Remus grinned impishly as he replied, “Hey, dad.” Oliver almost dropped his adoptive son’s trunk but smiled warmly, “How’s that could-be mate of yours. son?” Remus’ smile went a little sad, “He’s okay, but I don’t think he’s going to have a very nice summer.” Oliver simply brought his trunk inside and didn’t say another word until they were seated at the table for dinner.


	6. Chapter 6: A Summer of Somethings

Chapter 6: A Sumer of Somethings

**A/N: Here is the next chapter of this story, I hope that you enjoy it :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I do not agree with the author’s harmful views on gender identity.**

Flowers weren't the only things that bloomed that summer, friendship bloomed like roses in the rocks for the quartet of Gryffindor boys. James had managed to get the other three over to his house for an entire month of the summer holidays, which they were currently enjoying. Peter and Sirius were already there, and Remus was due to arrive any moment now. He arrived through the fireplace with the Floo Network, heaving a sigh of relief when he spotted a grinning James, a tired looking Peter, and a grinning Sirius all in the front room playing Exploding Snap. Sirius looked up and smiled at him, causing Remus' heartbeat to speed up a bit but he managed to calm himself down by brushing the soot off his clothes and taking some sly deep breaths. He walked over to them and smiled, sitting down in the empty seat that was wating for him, "Hey." he greeted. Peter smiled at him, "Hey Remus. We're playing Exploding Snap. Would you like to join?" Sirius smirked as he replied, "Nah, it's chess that's Rem's game. He doesn't fancy Exploding Snap much, I reckon." James rolled his eyes, "Shut up or I'll win." Sirius snorted, "You wish, Jamie." showing James the hand he hand with a smug look. Remus chuckled, "Seems like it isn't much James' game either. Dare I ask who's winning?" The silver eyed wizard grinned as he smugly stated, "Me, of course." Remus chuckled, rolling his eyes fondly, “Sure you are, Sirius.” He got a gently shove on the shoulder for that from the long haired wizard, which made him laugh, which caused him to fall over and continue laughing. He eventually calmed down and Sirius rolled his eyes fondly and helped him up, the werewolf sighing at the feel of Sirius’ arms around him, tugging him up to a standing position but he mentally shook himself and chided himself that he would catch on if he weren’t careful. Remus could believe how happy the other three boys made him feel. Soon after a couple of rounds of barely taken seriously Exploding Snap, Mrs. Potter called them for some lunch and lemonade. James grinned and showed his friends where things were. Hours whirled by and soon, it was deemed time for the four Gryffindors to go to bed. Mrs. Potter was adamant that neither Sirius nor Remus could stay in James’ room, not knowing what time they would stay up to, never mind who knows what in Merlin’s name the could get up to in the quiet of the night. So, she decided that Peter would stay in James’ room with him which meant that Remus and Sirius would share the guest room which had been decorated for when James’ friends came over. It was decorated in Gryffindor colours, had two small wardrobes, two bedside lockers and two single beds which had a small door for an ensuite in the middle of them. Remus was as anxious as a fish on a hook due to this because it meant that he would have to try harder to hide his feelings for the handsome silver-eyed wizard who was one of his three best friends. The time came for them to get ready for bed. Remus went into the bathroom to get into his blue and pale grey flannel pyjamas and brush his teeth. He opened the door to spot Sirius who grinned at him, “Hey Rem.” He smiled back, “Hi Sirius. You can go in now if you’d like.” Sirius nodded and grabbed his pyjamas – a baggy band shirt and shorts – as well as a hairbrush so his long hair wouldn’t be matted in the morning. He closed the door after him shortly afterwards. Remus went over to his bag and folded the clothes he’d been wearing that day before getting out one of his new books to read until he fell asleep, but he should have known better than to expect being able to read when Sirius was in the room with him, especially when they were alone. Sirius was quite the talker.

Not that Remus minded, but he should’ve known that he wasn’t going to get so much as a chapter in with the silver-eyed man there. Sirius came out of the bathroom and plopped himself down on the other bed, “…New book?” he asked with a lopsided grin. Remus put it down with a chuckle, “Yes, it’s one of the ones my dad got me for my birthday.” Sirius nodded, “Nice. What’s it about?” Remus went onto explain that the book was a murder mystery that he’d been interested in reading for about three months. The long haired wizard nodded, “Sounds good. …What’d you think James and Peter are doing?” Remus thought for a moment, “…Sleeping?” Sirius laughed, the barking laughter that made Remus blush, “Nah, not likely, Rem. We’re not asleep after all.” he pointed out. Remus chuckled, “Yeah, but we’re not rooming with Peter all on our own.” Sirius snickered, “Point taken. Poor bugger’s probably bored stiff.” The lycanthrope nodded, “Likely so, thankfully I’m not because I have you.” Sirius grinned at him and replied, “Yeah, we’ve got each other so we don’t won’t be bored.” Remus couldn’t stop the slow grin that bloomed onto his face as he softly replied, his voice a little hoarse with emotion, “Yeah. We’ve got each other.” Sirius grinned back at him as the lycanthrope brought up the subject of their summer homework, making Sirius whine a bit but know that it had to be done. He looked at Remus like a kicked puppy, making Remus blush which was concealed by the darkly lit room, "But Rem... It's barely the start of summer..." Remus smiled softly back at him, "Yes and the sooner we get it out of the way, the sooner we can have some proper fun." The silver eyed wizard smirked at him, "See, that's why you're brilliant. People think you're this...this perfect student or something but you're probably the most devious prankster out of the lot of us." Remus blushed darkly but smiled warmly at the dark-haired wizard, "You're so wonderful." Sirius chuckled and leaned back on his elbows, "Now Remus, don't go feeding my ego." He snickered at that and nodded, "Yes, I think that would be wise." Sirius shot him a staged offended look to which he responded with a small smirk. Sirius wouldn't tell a soul living or dead how much that little smirk made his heart flutter. Remus yawned loudly and blushed a bit, "I think I'd better get some sleep. You tired?" He replied, "Yeah, think we'd best get some sleep. Night, Rem." Remus nodded, curling up under the covers and pulling the blankets around him snugly, "Goodnight Sirius." He couldn’t help but smile softly in the darkness at the sight of the shorter boy curled around the blankets and snuggled up, Remus was adorable, but he aren’t say that, in case

Morning came, to which Sirius woke to spot Remus curled up on the bed, long lashes almost touching his cheek, messy tawny hair covering one eye and his hands clasped beside his face. Sirius breathed sharply, it hit him like a tonne of bricks in that moment, ‘ _Oh fuck, I love him_. _Remus Lupin, I love you_ ’ James came into the room at that moment with a grin on his face. He plopped down on Sirius’ bed and asked, “Why aren’t you waking him? C’mon, breakfast will be ready soon.” Sirius grabbed James by the shoulder, “…Remember how I told you that I like both, girls and guys? I think I only like guys.” James grinned wider, flinging an arm over Sirius’ shoulders, “It’s him, isn’t it? You two were always like this-“ he gestured with his fingers twirled together, causing Sirius to blush and push James slightly, making him chuckle and roll his eyes. Remus woke in that moment as he asked sleepily, “…Time is it?” James replied, “Hey mate. It’s nine, so not that late.” Remus yawned and stretched moving the clovers from around him, he nodded to James, “Not that late, no. Good morning, James, Sirius.” Sirius smiled at him, “Sleep good?” he softly asked. Remus nodded, “Wonderfully thanks. You?” Sirius shook his head, “Woke up every few hours but nothing out of order, Rem. Hungry?” He nodded, “Yes. I’m just going to go and shower before breakfast.” Sirius nodded, “Okay, see you in a bit, I guess.” Remus nodded and got some clean clothes – jeans, a knitted jumper, and loafers – before grabbing a towel and heading to the bathroom, a pair of grey eyes boring into every movement he made. He looked at James, “Well shit. What am I going to do?” James grinned, “You’re going to tell him, stupid. You know he’s gay, so you guys might have a shot.” he replied, looking at Sirius as if he’d just said the stupidest thing possible. Sirius’ eyes widened, “Are you mad? I couldn’t… he likes someone anyways. I can tell and it’s probably not me so there’s that.” James deadpanned, “So you’re just going to moon over him and never tell a soul?” He smiled at him through the shooting pain in his chest, “Well yeah, that’s the plan.” Remus came back out of the bathroom soon, which prompted Sirius to give James a ‘shut it’ look. Remus didn’t notice, folding his pyjamas and putting them under his pillow before pausing, “Aren’t you guys going to get ready before breakfast?” James looked down at himself, “I’m ready, Rem. It’s just this one.” he jerked his finger in Sirius’ direction. Sirius nodded, “I’ll go now. Was waiting for you to come back out, Rem.” In a playful mood, Remus softly joked, “But I never got back in the closet…?” Sirius couldn’t help it, he laughed loudly, but a tear rolled down his eye, wanting to desperately tell him but was afraid that the cold hard truth was that Remus liked someone else, someone much better than him. James coughed loudly, looking at him sharply. He shook his head and looked at Remus, plastering a smile on his face for his sake, “You have a point. That would be counterproductive, Rem. Right, I’m going to go get ready. See you in a bit, lads.” He got some clothes ready – a red and black flannel shirt and dark wash jeans – before grabbing a towel before going into the bathroom. James took that moment to ask Remus, “So Rem, who’s this mystery bloke of yours, eh?” Remus chuckled, “I don’t talk that easy, James.” He snorted, “Yeah, I should’ve known. Smart one, you are.” Remus smiled sweetly at him, “Why thank you, James. …I’m still not telling you though.” James nodded, “Yeah, I figured it wouldn’t work. Want to come play chess while we wait for Sirius?” The amber eyed wizard grinned and nodded, “I’d love to.” James nodded, a look of determination set on his features as they heard the long haired wizard faintly singing in the shower, something he was forbidden to do in his own house. The two brunets went to go and play chess, Remus beating him again to James’ dismay. The month spent at James’ house flew by in similar days; merriment, joking, fond teasing, friendship, and laughter for the four of them. They grew closer that summer, thick as thieves. For the second month of summer, Remus asked his friends to come over to his house for a while, James – having pulled a particularly ‘bad’ prank in the eyes of his parents was grounded for two weeks and Peter couldn’t go as his aunt was visiting him at his family home. Sirius enthusiastically told him that he would be delighted to stay at his place with him, which made Remus excited, happy, and nervous.

It was a beautiful sunny morning when Sirius Floo travelled to Remus’ home in Beaumaris, greeted by Oliver at first, “Oh, hi. You must be Sirius. I’m Remus’ dad, Oliver.” Sirius smiled warmly at him, shaking his hand, “It’s nice to meet you, sir.” Oliver shook his head, “You can call me Oliver if you want to, son.” The black haired wizard grinned, “Thanks, Oliver. …Is Remus home?” Oliver smiled, thinking to himself, ‘ _He likes my son_ ’ but spoke aloud, “Yes, he’s in the kitchen with my wife baking.” Sirius nodded and walked into the kitchen, smiling softly at the sight of Remus in an apron, eyes squinting in concentration and biting his lip. He scuffed his dragonhide boots slightly and walked over, tapping his shoulder gently, “Hi mate, you okay?” Fern blinked, but then realised that he meant ‘mate’ as friend. She nodded to him, “Hello, you must be Sirius. I’ve heard quite a bit about you from Remus.” Sirius shook her hand gently, “All good I hope, ma’am.” She laughed softly, “I also know that you’re quite the troublemaker, so there’s no need to use such formal things. I’m Fern Crawford.” Sirius smiled, he liked Remus’ parents a lot. Remus nodded to him, “Hi Sirius. I’ll be with you in a moment, just have to finish this. Finally I’m learning how to make them.” Sirius propped himself up, standing against the counter as he asked, “Oh? What is it you’re learning?” The werewolf smiled, “Chocolate brownies with a cinnamon hazelnut twist.” he replied softly. Sirius grinned, “Sounds amazing. You know I’m weak for your baking, Remy.” He chuckled, “I’m aware, Rus. They’re finished now, just have to put them in the oven. Then I can show you where you’ll be sleeping.” he smiled. He didn’t use the nickname much, but he didn’t miss the light in Sirius’ eyes when he did. It gave him hope for a potentially amorous future for them. He sighed, put the brownies in the oven and smiled at his mother, “Will you keep an eye one them for me, please mum?” Fern nodded, “Aye, I will, _fy mab_. You go show your _seren_ where he’ll be staying.” she smiled impishly at him, knowing of the second bed she’d put in Remus’ room for his friend coming to visit him. Remus picked up Sirius’ things with a smile directed at him and spoke softly to him, “Come on, I’ll show you where you’re staying.” He nodded and followed the amber eyed wizard happily, blushing ever so slightly when he realised, he’d be sharing Remus’ room with him. He hugged him tightly, “You asked for black and red check for me!” he grinned. Remus immediately hugged back, holding on for what was probably too long, but he didn’t much care to think about that, “Of course, I did. I know how much you like it. So, need a hand unpacking or do you plan to live out of your bags like we did at James’ place?” Sirius smiled, “Live out the bag, it’s easier.” Remus smiled warmly, “Thought you’d say that. So, anything in particular you’d like to do?” Sirius thought for a moment before replying, “Well, I know that you can beat James’ arse at chess, but can you beat mine?” The lycanthrope smiled, “One way to find out.” They spent the next few hours playing chess to find that they were both very good at the game. After a lively dinner, chatting about Hogwarts with the Crawfords, the boys got settled down in Remus' room where they talked until, they grew tired. Remus softly told Sirius, "Hey, listen I trust you. ...There's a specific boy that I like." Sirius felt shock go through him, feeling relieved but also slightly jealous at the fact that someone else could be with Remus. However, he simply answered by raising an eyebrow and asking Remus, "Oh? Gone and found someone special, eh Rem? Is he handsome?" Remus blushed darkly in his dimly lit room, the only light being his light up stars and moon lamp, he replied softly, "Yes, actually. I met him in first year. ...That's how long I've known I like him and yes, he's very handsome." The black haired wizard felt his heart sinking at Remus words, thinking to himself, ' _It's hopeless. Whichever lucky bastard it is, he'd better not hurt Rem or he's dead.’_ Remus yawned then, “I’m tired Sirius, I think I might sleep now.” He nodded, “Night Remus. Yeah, same here.” he replied, lying on his back, and getting comfortable, not able to sleep for a bit. He watched the stars on Remus’ ceiling, trying to go to sleep. Remus, however, was soundly asleep, curled around the blankets like he had been in James’ house. He mumbled a bit in his sleep, laughing softly in sleep. The black haired turned to look at him, knowing he was likely dreaming of whoever he had caught feelings for, feeling a stab of envy in his stomach, he listened to Remus’ mumblings in his sleep, knowing that he talked in his sleep from living with him, Peter, and James at Hogwarts.

Remus mumbled something nonsensical before murmuring, “Sirius…” It sounded so…so _loving_. Sirius felt his heart flutter at the sound, hope blooming like a rose in his heart that whoever Remus liked, it wasn’t serious unless that meant him. Remus tossed and turned a bit, thrashing about in the covers, the dream had turned to a scene of a Ministry worker catching him and torturing him for being a werewolf. He whimpered in sleep, thrashing about in his bed. Sirius looked around out of habit more than anything to see if anyone was there. He gulped and did something that may have been a bad idea – he crawled into Remus’ bed and hugged him close, whispering softly to him, “S’alright, Rem, just a dream. M’here. I’m here.” Remus slowly stopped tossing and turning, curling himself around Sirius, who blinked but wasn’t exactly objecting, causing Remus to mumble something nonsensical but cheerful sounding. Sirius gently stroked his hair, holding him close with the other arm holding Remus close to him, sighing contentedly at how close they were – he could smell the cinnamon and chocolate on the other’s lips, the earthy blends of his shampoo and the tea he’d been drinking hours earlier. He felt his breath hitch as the sleeping lycanthrope nuzzled him close affectionately, almost in the way of a boyfriend. He felt tears rolling down his cheeks but swiped them away as quickly as possible, not wanting to wake Remus, but he didn’t mean to fall asleep there beside him, however, the comfort of the warm-skinned werewolf practically lying on top of him made it very difficult not to sleep, so he did. They woke in the morning, curled around each other, Remus blushing darkly and quietly asking, “What happened?” Sirius looked down at him, “You were having a nightmare and got distressed, I thought this would help. …I didn’t mean to sleep. Sorry, Rem.” The werewolf hugged him close, “Don’t apologise. I should be thanking you. I’m an active sleeper, I move around a lot.” he replied softly. Sirius didn’t really know what to reply, so he simply hugged Remus close, “Okay. I just wanted to help.” He didn’t mention the fact he’d said his name so softly and sweetly, he didn’t want to make things anymore awkward than they already were. Remus pulled away from the hug and asked, “Would you like to shower first?” Sirius nodded, “Yeah, that’d be great thanks, Rem. See you in a bit?” The tawny haired wizard nodded and got up, making both of their beds so they’d be tidy as Sirius went in the shower after grabbing some clean clothes to wear. Remus waited for him to come out, going to his closet to find a clean jumper to put on, finding a cosy coffee coloured one with patterns of cups and teapots over it with a pair of darker brown corduroy trousers and his favourite loafers. Sirius came out of the bathroom in dark jeans and a black tank top, making Remus blush darkly as he asked, “Is that what you plan to wear?” Sirius smirked a bit and did a little twirl for him, which of course caused Remus to look at him more. Sirius asked a little smugly, pleased with himself, “Don’t like it?” Remus chuckled a bit, “No, it’s nice, really. But you’ll be cold.” Sirius wondered, if he dared to ask something that he’d wanted to for a while so he did, “I could always steal one of your adorable jumpers, Rem.” Remus blinked, “You think my jumpers are adorable? Um, okay. You can ‘steal’ one while I go in the shower.” he chuckled, taking the clothes he’d picked out into the bathroom with him and humming something under his breath. Sirius spotted a pale grey jumper, it smelled so wonderfully of Remus, so he took that one. It was the same colour as his eyes almost. He smiled and put on his eyeliner, knowing it would frame them. When Remus came back out of the bathroom, Sirius did another twirl, “Better?” he asked, meeting the amber gaze he loved to look at. A smile made it’s way across Remus’ face, “Much. You’ll be warmer now. …Should we plan for the prank we have scheduled for the first night of term?” Sirius grinned and sat down on Remus’ bed with him, “Sounds wonderful.” So they planned the prank that they had spoken about on the train with James and Peter, since then, Remus had found a charm that would help them to successfully dye Snape’s hair bright pink for a week. They spend many days like that in cheerful conversation, Sirius officially stealing that one grey jumper of Remus’ which he secretly revelled in, playing chess, laying outside in the summer sunshine under the oak tree in Remus’ garden and getting to know each other better without James and Peter there. It was an unavoidable topic of conversation, since he knew the full moon as in three or four days and Sirius had started to notice his month exhaustion kick in. He asked, “So… why do you get so tired all of a sudden smack in the middle of the month, Rem? I used to think it was because you were burning yourself in that beloved library of yours, but it’s not.” Remus froze for a moment and thought about lying to him, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He sighed softly and looked into Sirius’ eyes, “I was going to avoid telling all three of you this until a later date as I’m ashamed of it but also people can be rather nasty about it but… I suffer with ly-lycanthropy.” He stumbled over the word, averting his gaze from Sirius immediately. Sirius grabbed his hand in his and looked into his eyes, squeezing the other boy’s longer fingered hand, “Rem, look at me. Do I look like scared, annoyed, or pissed? No. That’s because I’m not, mate. …I suspected something, but I wasn’t smart enough to put it together. …Would you like to tell the others?” Remus bit his lip, apprehensively looking at Sirius to find understanding and honesty in his eyes. He didn’t speak for a moment, he simply hugged Sirius close and whispered, “Thank you.” Sirius hugged him back tightly and playfully asked, “So… You’re feeling like sharing, eh? Does that mean you’ll reveal your mystery man?” Remus chuckled, thankful for Sirius’ playfulness but replied softly, “Yes, I’d like to tell the others. I have to be honest with them. …No. I’m sorry but I— I can’t.” he looked down again. Sirius squeezed his hand gently, “S’alright Rem, didn’t think I’d get it out of you, had to ask though, didn’t I?” he gave him an easy grin before asking softly, “Hey um, what happens when you, when you er…” Remus gently stroked his hand, something that he’d wanted to do for a while but didn’t miss the opportunity to do so, “My parents and I stay together close and go to the nearby woods. We’re…we’re not as vicious as Défense Against the Dark Arts would have you believe.” Sirius gave his hand a gentle squeeze, “Good, because I don’t think I have a big enough imagination to imagine _you_ of all people vicious. Come on Remus, you fold your socks for Merlin’s sake.” he fondly teased, rolling his eyes fondly. Remus was glad for how he responded and nodded slowly, “I agree with you there. I used to think differently, but my family… They helped.” Sirius had a sad look shift into his eyes at the word ‘family’. He despised his family, save for Regulus. He knew that he had to protect his little brother no matter what. Remus noticed him going quiet and asked softly, “Have you ever been fishing?” Sirius looked at him oddly, “What?” Remus smiled softly, “Fishing. Have you ever gone fishing?” Sirius shook his head and replied, “No. …Have you?” Remus smiled warmly, putting a hand on Sirius’ shoulder with a small grin, making Sirius’ heart flutter, “Then come on, I’m teaching you how to fish.” And so, the werewolf took Sirius to the small pond near his house and taught him how to fish.

When Sirius went home, a few days before the end of the summer holidays, Remus swore that he’d write to him until he saw him on the train, smiling warmly and letting him keep the grey jumper. Before either of them knew it, it was September first and they were on the train, sitting with Peter and James, chatting happily. James reacted similarly to how Sirius had; fondly joking that Remus was mild-mannered no matter if he could turn into a dog at the end of the month, Peter was a little scared, but he grew used to the idea in time. By the time the sorting feast had begun, Sirius and James had discussed some sort of way they could help their friend through the pain of transformations, Remus telling them that it was too dangerous, “No! Don’t be stupid. I could kill you in that form. …Or worse and I’d never forgive myself.” he looked pale and frightened. Sirius grabbed his hand and squeezed it, “Don’t worry, we’ll be careful.” Remus simply sighed and went back to his book before returning to the Gryffindor common room. Sirius, James, and Peter followed him shortly after, laughing and joking beside him as he fondly rolled his eyes and read his book, a hint of a smile on his face at some of the things they said, but when Sirius said something about, “We could call it his ‘furry little problem’, you know.” He lost it at that point and laughed loudly putting his book back into his bookbag and trying to get his breath back before grinning at the star-named wizard, his eyes shining, the look making Sirius blush a bit, “You’re a genius, you know.” Sirius flashed him a pleased grin, “Glad you think so.”


	7. Chapter 7: Patience Grows Thin

Chapter 7: Patience Growing Thin

**A/N: So this is basically where Remus gets extremely jealous, his wolf overreacting inside him and causing doubt to form in his mind. Blame the song I’ve listened to a dozen or so times today by the name of Marlene.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I do not agree with JK. Rowling’s harmful views on gender identity.**

The quartet of Gryffindors had been back at Hogwarts for about a week now and things were going swimmingly between them. Remus was at peace, no longer having to hide himself, whether for being gay or a werewolf, he hadn't been this happy in years. He thought maybe, just maybe, he could muster up the courage to confess to Sirius how he felt. He was currently in the library with Lily Evans and two of her friends, Dorcas Meadows, and Marlene McKinnon. He quietly told Lily while the other two were quietly gossiping about the House Cup, "I'm going to tell him." Remus whispered. Lily grinned at him, "Took you long enough, Rem! Come on, you'd have to blind to not see the way he looks at you. Softly, like you're the only one that matters." Remus snorted as he finished the next paragraph of his Charms assignment, "If you say so, Lils. ...Are you still saying no to James' advances?" Lily swatted his shoulder playfully, "Don't change the subject, you traitor. You know I'd rather hex myself than date Potter." Remus chuckled quietly, "If you say so, Lily. ...Have you finished the assigned reading for Herbology?" Lily shook her head and sighed, "I've only just finished the Potions homework, I mean, you know I love Potions but it's harder than last year..." she quietly added, "I might have to ask Severus for some help." Remus sighed, "I'm not as violent with my dislike of him as my friends are, but I don't understand how you're friends with him. He's constantly either angry, hateful or moody." Lily poked him in the ribs with her grey eagle quill, "Shut it, Lupin." she playfully told him, knowing that arguing with her second best friend was fruitless. He rolled his eyes fondly at her and softly asked, "I can give you my notes on the Herbology reading if you'd like. It's less work but the information that you need.” She smiled warmly at him, “Thanks, Remus. You’re a good friend.” Dorcas giggled and playfully shoved her, “More than a friend, I’d reckon.” She glared at her softly, “Shove off, Dorcas. Remus is my second best mate; besides, he doesn’t swing that way.” Dorcas blinked and softly asked, looking at Remus, “Is that true?” He nodded slowly, “Yes. I assure you; I happen to be very gay.” Dorcas snorted, patting his shoulder, “Well, can we be friends, then?” He nodded with a small warm smile, “I’d like that. But I don’t know your name?” She nodded, “Silly me. I’m Dorcas, Dorcas Meadows.” Remus shook her hand with a smile, “Nice to meet you, Dorcas. Who’s your friend?” Marlene grinned at him, “I’m Marlene McKinnon, nice to meet you.” Remus nodded and shook her hand too, “Remus Lupin. Nice to meet you too.” They became a regular little study group after that day, Lily was just glad that Remus had more friends now. Before they realised, it was time for lunch. Remus walked with Lily to the Gryffindor table, noticing that Marlene and Dorcas were on their tail, assumingly going to sit near Lily. However, when his usual seat directly beside Sirius was taken by Marlene, he felt a wave of white hot anger go through him but squashed it, fearing what his wolf would do if challenged for his position near his assumed mate. He took a deep breath and sat across from Sirius, right beside Lily, who raised an eyebrow at him. He gave her a ‘don’t ask’ look and began putting food on his plate. Marlene smiled at Sirius, “Hi, I’m Marlene, one of Lily’s friends.” Sirius bit the inside of his cheek, knowing that tone from many of the Pureblood social events he’d been forced to go to over the years, but he forced a smile and replied, “Pleasure, I’m Sirius Black.” Marlene grinned, “Nice to meet you Sirius.” Sirius nodded and plated up some food, worried that this girl would try something, but he’d known that someone would at some point, considering what bloody family he was from and how he looked. Remus noticed his apprehensiveness and thanked Merlin that the long haired wizard didn’t seem to be interested in the blonde witch. Before dessert arrived, Marlene asked Sirius, “So, do you always look this handsome or is today some sort of special event?” Sirius glared frostily at Lily as if to say, ‘thanks so much for introducing us’ before smiling forcefully and replying, “Nope, this is just me every day, I guess.” She giggled and smiled a bit, “Charming too, oh my.” she finished her dessert and smiled at Dorcas and Lily, “Ready to go?” Lily nodded slowly, intending to have a good long chat to Marlene which would include threats about staying the hell away from Sirius. During all of this, Remus' eyes were ablaze with gold, not a shot of amber in them, when he was at his most dangerous. He takes some deep breaths, trying to calm himself down before something happened that he'd regret. He looked at Sirius and slowly asked in a deceptively calm voice, "What was that about?" Sirius looked at him with a sigh, "Bugger if I know, mate." The word 'mate', even meant in a friendly gesture only further fuelled his anger so he replied in a clipped tone, "See you back in the dorm." He rose from the table before finishing his brownie, a bad sign for anyone who knew him. Sirius looked at him and was about to say something before he left. He put his head on the table and banged it, "Stupid arsehole. You could have had him. You could have bloody had him but no, you had to go and be a bloody aristoprat didn't you?" he muttered darkly to himself. James looked concerned and patted his shoulder, "C'mon mate, let's go back to the dorms, eh?" Sirius nodded and walked with him, but softly asked, "I blew it, didn't I, James?" James looked at him sadly, his hazel eyes soft, "Dunne. I don't think so because he really likes you." Sirius shoved James, "Come off it, he looked furious. Like someone had told him that chocolate didn't exist or something." James looked alarmed, "He was _that_ mad? Sirius, all that happened was some girl flirted with you." Sirius chuckled darkly, running a hand through his hair, "Nope, it's worse than that. I, like a bloody tosser, flirted back. Now he'll think I couldn't give a shit about him." James playfully punched Sirius' shoulder, "Can't be that bad. Come on, quit whining, and lets go to practice. Before Davies kills us." He nodded and put on his Quidditch uniform, going with James to practice.

He went to the owlery and send an owl to Lily, which read; ‘ _Meet me in the library in ten minutes. You’re the only one I can talk to right now. Thanks Lily. – R_ ’ An owl came back swiftly with a reply, _‘I’ll be right there, Remus – L._ ’ He walked towards the library; she was there waiting for him. She softly asked, “Want to go to one of the quiet rooms in the library and vent?” Remus nodded, his throat tight with emotion. She shook her head and grabbed his hand, going to one of the rooms which were spelled with the silencing charm, which were empty right now. Lily looked at him and softly asked, “Go ahead, Remus.” He looked at her, his hands shaking, “He…h-he doesn’t—he doesn’t love m-me… I was a fool to think the-that I even stood…stood a chance.” The hot, wet tears fell down his pale scarred cheeks, the glamour he wore to hide them during the day fading in his emotional state. Lily hugged the taller boy tightly and pulled him close, “Listen to me, Remus Lupin. I’m about to say something important. You, my dear friend, are in love with a moron. A complete and utter moron. I had a good talking to Marlene, if she’s smart, she won’t bother him anymore.” Remus hugged the shorter redhead close and cried, softly sniffling, and sobbing into her long red hair. He rasped out, “One witch. All it took was one interfering witch to take him from me, Lily.” Lily rubbed his back gently and softly spoke, “Come on, we’re taking you to the kitchen, get you some chocolate.” Remus offered her a small watery smile, they walked to the kitchens shortly after that, where they got hot chocolate for Remus and coffee for Lily. She spoke softly to him, “Hey, maybe… Maybe you should tell him how you feel, Remus.” The lycanthrope snorted but there was no amusement in the laugh, “No. I can’t… Not after today.” She squeezed his hand gently and nodded, “I know it hurts you to think about, but I have to say it, Rem.” He looked down at his shoes and sighed, “It’s inevitable, so go ahead. I know what you’re going to ask.” She sighed and asked, sipping her coffee, “What if he dates someone that isn’t you? What would you do?” He sighed, feeling a pang of pain in his chest as he quietly replied, “There’s not much I _can_ do, Lily. I’d just have to deal with it, be miserable and alone for the rest of my days.” Lily furrowed her brow and asked, “No you wouldn’t, you’d someone to love. Sirius isn’t the be all and end all.” Remus laughed again, but there was no amusement in it, it was hollow and dry, “That’s just it, I know that you know what I am, you’re smart, Lils.” She nodded sadly, “You need to find your mate, though.” Remus looked up at her with a deadpan expression, his eyes devoid of emotion as he did so. She clasped a hand over her mouth and gasped, whispering softly, “No.” He nodded slowly, “I’m afraid so. It seems as if Sirius _is_ my mate. …Which is why I know for a fact I’m going to end up alone and bitter for the rest of my days.” She hugged him tightly and looked at him with fierce determination in her vivid green eyes, “I’m not going to let that happen. You’re my best friend and I will be damned if you’re not happy with the love of your life.” The werewolf smiled a bit as he asked in a slightly playful tone, “Thank Merlin James hasn’t seen you like this. He’d swoon.” Lily giggled and swatted his shoulder, “Then he’d fall on the floor because no one would catch him.” Remus smiled properly a bit now, “No. Me or Sirius or Peter would catch him. We’re loyal that way.” She smiled and poked his ribs, “Can’t you just let him fall flat on his arse for once? It might deflate some of that ego of his.” Remus laughed at that, grinning at her but then replied playfully, “It’s impossible, trust me, I’ve tried. There’s no way of lowering it. He means well.” Lily rolled her eyes fondly, “There’s that loyalty stopping you from seeing the great prat James Potter for what he truly is.” Remus furrowed his brow and asked, “Oh? And what would that be, Lily?” She smiled sweetly at him before replying, “The biggest tosser to ever walk these halls.” Remus shook his head, “No. He’s a good friend and he’s loyal. Which, in my book, makes him a good man.” She sighed and squeezed his shoulder, “If you say so, Rem. Now, come on, it’s past curfew and we need to sneak back to our dorms before Filch and that cat of his catches sight of us.” He nodded, finishing the hot chocolate and walking wither cautiously back to Gryffindor Tower, seeing her walk up the girl’s dormitory stairs before going into the boys’ dormitory where he noticed that Sirius was still awake, but he couldn’t bear to look at him right now, let alone talk to him. So, he snook into his bed and closed the curtains with his wand. Sirius looked up to see the closed curtains and cursed under his breath, Remus wasn’t talking to him, which was a bad sign. He knew he’d blown it, his chance to be with Remus. Only one thing for it now, he’d have to try and fool himself that he preferred girls. He’d date that girl from dinner, what was her name? Marlene McKinnon, yeah, that’s it. He found himself soon drifting off into sleep, plagued by nightmares of never being with Remus.

The next day at breakfast, Remus was quiet, only talking to Lily, Peter, Dorcas, and James every so often, under the guise of reading a new book that he couldn’t put down. Sirius could see it in those amber eyes that he was hurting and angry, but he didn’t know what to say or do. He knew that he’d screwed up, big time, but he’d made his bed, now he had to lie in it. He spotted Marlene and forced himself to grin charmingly at her, “Morning.” She beamed at him and replied, “Good morning, Sirius.” She sat on the seat beside him, Remus choosing to sit next to Lily this time. Sirius asked her, putting a smirk on his face, he was good at lying and pretending from his home life, but this was harder, this was lying to his heart and it hurt excruciatingly so. But he did it because he thought that he had to. He asked her, “So, Marlene, was wondering if you’d like to maybe, hm, I don’t know, go by the Black Lake with me tomorrow?” Remus hid his face in the book, clenching his teeth and glowering at the pages, Lily kicked him under the table, so he glared at her. Marlene grinned, “I’d really like that. How’s after lunch? I think we both have a space in our timetable then.” He nodded, “Sounds great. See you then. Meet you outside the tower?” She smiled warmly, “It’s a date.” Sirius barely covered up the wince he felt at those words, as though he’d been struck by her hand with them, but he smiled, “Sounds great.” He went about eating his breakfast before heading to Transfiguration class with James, Peter, and Remus, who hadn’t said a word to him all morning. Soon, it was dinner, and the date at the Black Lake had gone rather well. Marlene was happily talking to Dorcas about it at the table. James raised an eyebrow at Sirius who just shrugged and sighed a bit, to which James mouthed, “What’s going on, mate?” Sirius mouthed back, “Tell you at practice?” James nodded and continued eating his dinner, until it was a week later, and things were worse than they could have been, Remus was flat out ignoring him now and his girlfriend, if you could call her that, was starting to become a bit too clingy for his liking. He sighed and sat down next to James, “Alright?” James nodded and began plating up some food before greeting Lily, who had just sat down at the table with Remus, who was pretending to read while he ate to avoid conversations, “Hello Lilyflower.” She glared at him, “Do no call me that, unless you want hexing, Potter.” James pouted at her, “Surely, you don’t mean that Evans?” She smiled sweetly at him as she replied, “Why don’t you call me that again and find out?” He chuckled as he replied with a grin, “I might be an idiot, but I’m not stupid, Evans. Wouldn’t dare anger you, even though you look stunning when you’re angry as well.” She sighed and grabbed Remus’ arm as he was done eating, “Come on, let’s go to the library, avoid your idiotic friends.” He chuckled a bit and smiled at her softly, “Okay, sure. Just let me put a bookmark in this if you must drag me away from it.” He slotted the bookmark into the pages and put into the dark blue canvas bag he often carried with him before walking with her to the library. Sirius was about to say, ‘see you later’, when he froze, hearing Lily playfully tease Remus, “Think Lockhart’ll be there?” Remus playfully shoved her, “Shut it, you know I can’t stand that narcissistic Ravenclaw.” This part went unheard by Sirius, who panicked and grabbed James arm, “We’re leaving, now.” James blinked and looked worriedly at him, “Okay…?” he asked and walked out of the Great Hall with him to an empty classroom where he sat down on the floor, putting his head in his hands. James plopped down on the floor with a sigh, “Go on then, tell me.” Sirius hoarsely whispered, “I…I think I know who…who Remus likes and it’s…it’s not me… I’m going to tell her, Marlene, I mean. Tell her that I’m bi.” James patted his shoulder and snorted, “Come off it, Sirius. The man, er, wolf was mad for you ever since you two _met_. You and I both know that. So whoever you think he likes that isn’t you, is just some tosser. Oh, yeah that might be a good idea. Why haven’t you told her yet, mate?” Sirius swatted James shoulder and softly replied, “Yeah, fine, if you say so but you’re wrong. …It’s because I’m scared, she’ll flip out and tell me to get lost.” James arched an eyebrow and asked, “Wouldn’t that be a good thing…? Think about it—no more girlfriend, no more reason for Remus to be pissed at you.” Sirius face palmed before hitting himself, “Why the hell didn’t I think of it like that?! James, you’re a genius.” James grinned widely at him, throwing an arm over his shoulders, “No problem, mate. You’d think it would have gone through your head at one point, considering you were falling over yourself for Remus since meeting him on the train.” Sirius shoved his shoulder, “Shut it, you were the same ever since you caught sight of Evan’s red hair.” James chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, “Yeah, you’re not wrong there, are you?” Sirius grinned, “Nope. You’re smitten with her.” James nodded, sighing slightly, “Shame all she does is tell me to bugger off though.” Sirius patted his shoulder gently, “She’ll come ‘round, mate. Don’t you worry.” He sighed and pushed himself up, looking down at Sirius, “Coming then?” Sirius nodded, getting up with a sigh, “Yeah, I have to go come out to Marlene.” He patted James’ shoulder and headed for the Gryffindor Common Room. James grinned and walked to the library, just when Remus was walking out, not with Lily. James greeted, “Hi mate. You okay?” The werewolf shook his head, “Not really but it’s fine. She’s in there if you’re looking for her.” he jerked his thumb in the direction of the library. James shook his head, “Nah, for once I was coming to look for you. …Why aren’t you in there, actually?” He pulled an unpleasant face, “An idiotic narcissist by the name of Gilderoy Lockhart is the reason why I’m not in there.” James arched an eyebrow, “That’s who Lils was teasing you about earlier, right? Does he fancy you or something?” Remus sighed, “Probably, by the way the idiotic moron has been flirting with me.” James let out a low whistle, “Hate to see you pissed, probably scream at someone.” He chuckled and shook his head, “Not at the moment, I just left because I’d had enough. …Where is he, then?” James grinned slyly but asked, “Stupid bugger. Who?” Remus looked at him with a deadpan expression, “Godric Gryffindor. Who do you think I was looking for?” James chuckled, “Alright, alright, no need to be sarcastic. He’s with Marlene at the moment, he’s going to come out to her.” Remus froze but slowly replied, “Come out to her…? Why?” James’ eyes glittered but he shrugged, “Buggered if I know, Rem. Don’t suppose you want me to go in there and have a good talking to this Lockhart bloke for you?” Remus smirked a bit at him, “No thanks, James. That’s kind of my boyfriend’s job and I don’t have one of those. …You’re not my type.” The bespectacled Gryffindor burst out laughing and patted Remus’ shoulder, “You’re a bastard but you’re a good mate.” Remus smiled sweetly at him, “Thank you, James. …Would you maybe like to play chess?” James shot him a mock hurt look, hand over his chest, “So you won’t date me, but you’ll unmercifully beat my arse at chess?” Remus laughed loudly, catching his breath before replying, “I though you were straight as an arrow but okay sure. Do you want to play chess or not?” James laughed, bending over to stop his aching side, “Shut it, Lupin, you’re making my sides hurt with laughing. Yeah, come on, I’m always good to play chess.” They walked to the Gryffindor Common Room where they heard yelling. Remus flinched, his sensitive ears almost ringing with it. James put a hand on his shoulder and said the password, going inside with him to spot Marlene McKinnon yell at Sirius, “Well, if that’s how you feel then sod off! We’re done!” Sirius shouted back, “Fine! I will then.” he stormed into the Gryffindor boys’ dorms and James let out a low whistle, grabbing Remus’ hand, “C’mon, let’s go find out what the hell happened/” Remus sighed, “I can’t James… I’m sorry, I just…” James squeezed his shoulder, “S’alright mate. I understand. Go keep Evans company, yeah?” Remus nodded slowly and walked back to the library, feeling enraged with himself for not having the courage to go and help Sirius when he was in need.

Sirius was pacing the dormitory, muttering darkly to himself before James came in and he looked at him, “It went horribly, of course. She couldn’t understand that I like both. So, she started screaming at me and wouldn’t listen to reason.” James nodded, “So… you screamed back?” Sirius looked down, “Yeah, not my proudest moment but, it’s done now. …Where is he?” James patted his shoulder understandingly, “It’s fine, Sirius. Don’t worry ‘bout it, mate. …He didn’t take it well and went to the library, something about not being able to see you right now.” Sirius slapped a hand to his face, dragging it down his face and he sighed, “What the hell is wrong with me. James, eh? He’s probably pissed at me, wouldn’t blame him if he never talked to me again.” James poked him in the ribs, “Shut it, that’s now how he looked. He looked…sad but almost hopeful.” Sirius’ head snapped up as he looked at him, “What colour were his eyes?” he asked, needing to know. “Amber like whiskey.” James replied simply, furrowing his brow in confusion. Sirius breathed a sigh of relief, “Thank Merlin. He’s not pissed. …D’you think if I go apologise to him, I might still have a chance?” James smiled, “Might do, only one way to find out, isn’t there?” Sirius nodded and got up, “Bathroom first. I look a mess right now.” He went into the bathroom and washed his face, tidying his messed up hair, determined to apologise to Remus and patch things up with him.


End file.
